I started my EKG project…yup. I finished typing up the initial survey and handing it out, finding all my old EKG material and organizing it, and have sat in front of about four different computers staring at blank pages wondering where to begin this overwhelming project. Oh…not to mention I am also reviewing the entire cardiovascular system for the month of April. Needless to say my frustration level grows by the minute while my confidence in even the basic understanding of the CV system and EKGs plummets with each page I review. I’m toast. I don’t know how I passed the NCLEX or the basic telemetry test to be a monitor tech or the PCCN. No clue. I’m beginning to wonder if I should go back to work on Saturday or if the patients and my teammates would actually benefit more from a cardboard cut out of Dr. Oz in my place.
For some reason I continually pursue opportunities to teach other people things I don’t know well and every time I think I’m going to be so on top of it and really buckle down and learn the material in depth so I can teach it. Yeah…I fail at that nearly every time. There’s only one time I think I have been successful. The summer between sophomore and junior year of college I was a tutor for calculus (yes, I love math..I like to think I’m methodical but if you’ve ever seen me run around the unit you know I’m just chaos but I do think there is some higher level mathematical formula to explain chaos). I had four students and I remember the day I explained parabolas so well that one of my students had that lightbulb moment! I saw understanding and success and joy on her face and I am sure I was glowing with pride. Sadly, that has been a once in a lifetime experience. Sure, I have taught other people things but my limited teaching skills have never produced quite the same reaction. I am so afraid that with this project I will take an already confusing topic and confuse everyone even more. I’m afraid my intentions will not match my results. So..if all else fails we may learn more about kegs than EKGs.